Ok, maybe it's not that easy. (abc.com)For the rest of us, those 25 guys are spread across years of first crushes, failed love stories and one too many horrifying first dates. As I round the corner on this elusive number, I'd like to introduce you to the five men I hope you can be lucky enough not to meet (or be, if any guys are reading this).
The Obsessive Caller
One of my ex boyfriends wanted to talk on the phone ALL.THE.TIME. Now I love talking to people, I really do, but I hate the phone. When you talk to someone over a wire, you're missing about 85% of the conversation — body language, touch, tone of voice, facial expressions, etc. I'm almost positive we broke up because I didn't call him on a holiday. His birthday? Nope. 4th of July.
The Over-Analyzer
Now I can't say that I don't over-analyze things — it's in my job description. I just don't want to talk about them with you. Please don't ask me how I feel about you. If you have to ask, you're probably not going to like the answer.
The Self-Dater
One guy I dated was actually courting himself. He even showed up for a date two hours late because he had to go to a concert at the last minute — alone. I thought at least Valentine's Day would be different. Nope, he bought himself tickets to another obscure concert. At least I was invited this time.
The List Maker
There's nothing that creeps me out more than when I'm talking to a guy and he says "good answer" to one of my responses. What is this, a check list? Just because I can spout off Star Wars trivia, eat a Chipotle burrito in one sitting and still manage to squeeze into a little black dress does not mean I'm your soul mate. Which leads me to my ultimate fear...
The Wife Hunter
Why has no one written "she's just not that into you?" yet? Over-the-top dates and early affection are not going to win us over — they're going to send us running. So many guys think women want a committed, loving partner. Yeah, maybe a few years down the road. Picking out engagement rings on the first date? Not so much.
This post might get me into trouble, but I hope it helps you stay out of it. Just be happy I didn't pull a Taylor Swift and name names, boys.
Dodging bullets,
Voguerrilla
3 comments:
Does this include the boyfriend like relationships women like to describe with their cell phones and wireless carriers now a days?
Addition...
The English Major
This is the type of guy that chooses to specialize in the most broad major out there but thinks it makes him better than everybody else. No matter how much classical literature you read or how much better your GPA is, he is still smarter than you. No bother that you're in the world's best journalism school or your university's honors college, you will never be as intellectual as The English Major.
Jessica, I couldn't agree more. There's no bigger pet peeve of mine than a guy who constantly corrects, questions or undermines what you say. That's ok in a press conference, but not in a bar. Thanks for adding to the list!
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